


Love is only a feeling

by pinklaces34



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU Dean/Cas best friends, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinklaces34/pseuds/pinklaces34
Summary: Five times Dean Winchester shows Castiel he loves him and one time Castiel returns the favour.
AU where Dean and Cas are childhood best friends.





	

One

“Oh my Deanna he’s beautiful.” Mary Winchester looked down at the sleeping 4 year old with the shock of thick brown hair, making sure to hold on tight to Dean, he was going through a stage of grabbing at anything he took a liking to and Mary didn’t want him lunging to grab at Castiel. 

Mary and Deanna had been best friends since high school and Mary couldn’t help the tears forming in her eyes as she saw the look of love on her friends face. Deanna had been trying to conceive for years, and when she found out she couldn’t carry a child she was devastated, the adoption process had been a slow one but she fell in love with Castiel as soon as she saw him, and after she had heard what he had been through she just knew she had to give him the loving home he deserved.

Deanna looked over at Mary with a sad smile on her face “He’s been through so much Mary, I just want him to know how much he is going to be loved in this house.” 

Of course Mary had already heard the story, the absent mother, the drunk, abusive father. Castiel was more often than not left in the care of his older siblings, whilst their father drank his life away. The older children were much older than Castiel and eventually drifted away from the family home, leaving only 14 year old Gabriel to look after the smallest Godson child, that’s when child services got involved, Gabriel was sent to a group home for teenagers, and Castiel ended up being put up for adoption. 

Mary took a deep breath and smiled at Deanna, she reached over and gently took the other woman’s hand. “Deanna. Just seeing how you look at him, I can’t think of a better place for him to be.” The two women embraced and Dean took the opportunity to wriggle down from his mother’s lap, he wanted to take a closer look at the lump of blankets that his mother and Deanna were fawning over. 

Dean stood next to the sofa where Castiel slept and narrowed his eyes at the lump, he took a quick step back when the lump starting rolling over and whimpering and he realised it was a little boy just like him. Without much warning Castiel started bawling, great big tears falling from his blue eyes. Deanna rushed over to pick the boy up and cradled him in her arms, whispering soothing words in his ear. Mary reached over and ruffled Deans blonde hair seeing that he looked a little concerned “Don’t worry honey, he’s just having a nightmare, that’s all.” Dean furrowed his brow, he didn’t like have nightmares so he wasn’t happy that the boy was having one that was making him so sad, he took a step back but then remembered what his own mother did when he had a nightmare. 

Dean walked over to the other boy, who was still wailing in Deannas arms, he was a little shy at first but then grew more confident remembering the words his daddy had told him just this morning when he had run in to tell his parents that his 6 month old brother was trying to eat Legos. “You’re a hero Dean, you always look out for everyone.” 

When the little blonde boy reached Castiel he started whispering soft words “It’s ok, it’s ok, I’m here” he slowly placed his hand on the boys head very gently stroking it, just like his mother did to him. Magically Castiel seemed to start calming but Dean still went on whispering in the boys ear “shhhh, shhhh, I’ll look after you, I love you, its ok.” After a while Castiel was calm again and the boys just stared at each other for a while. Castiel sat up in Deanna’s arms and nuzzled into her neck shyly, then Dean grabbed his hand “Hey, you wanna go play?” he asked with a little smile. The blue eyed boy tilted his head slightly to one side and frowned a little, then nodded shyly, and jumped off of his new mother’s knee to follow the blonde haired boy into the playroom.

The two mothers just looked at each other and smiled, and that was the day that Dean and Cas became best friends. 

 

Two

Castiel hadn’t been in school all day and so Dean was worried about him, as soon as he got home he rushed around to his best friend’s house to make sure he was ok.  
Deanna turns round to see a whirl of blonde hair fly past her, and up the stairs followed by a quickly shouted “Hey Aunt Dee!” before she even got chance to blink, Dean was heading for Castiel’s room. 

Dean opens the door a crack and sees the room is in pitch black and the curtains are drawn. “Hey Cas” Dean whispers “What’s up? Are ya sick.” Dean doesn’t get a reply from the lump of blankets on the bed so he moves closer and sits on the end of the bed. “If you’re sick you should have some OJ, cause Mr Novak says it’s got Vitamin C, which is really ……” Dean is interrupted by a muffled cry coming from the lump on the bed. He moves closer to Cas and places his hand on top of the pile of blankets surrounding his best friend, Dean just leaves his hand there for a while, feeling the sobs that are racking through his friend, and not really knowing what to do. After a while Cas sits up and pulls his head out of the blanket and looks into the worried green eyes of his friend.

Cas seems to settle eventually, although Dean can still hear the lump in his throat as he speaks. “Hael is dead” he says looking up at his friend with sad eyes, and Dean understands now why Cas is so upset. Hael is Cas’s cat, Deanna bought her for Cas to help him sleep at night when he first came to live with her, he hasn’t spent a night without her since. “That mean Mr. Crowley ran her over. Said she ran out in front of him.” Cas’s eyes began to fill with water again and his voice becomes wobbly “How am I gonna sleep without her Dean?” 

Dean hates to see his friend so upset, so he shuffles over to sling an arm around the other boy. “We’ll think of something, ok?” He gives Cas a little squeeze and the boy starts crying again. Dean just pulls him closer, worry creasing his brow.

Cas calms down after a while, and even starts smiling a little again after Dean tells him about Charlie throwing Mr Balthazars false teeth in the fish tank. Charlie had told Dean that Mr. Balthazar had told her that girls couldn’t play baseball, so Dean agreed she was totally justified with her actions. The boys play with their cars for a while but then Dean jumps up suddenly, startling Cas “Be right back Cas” he shouts to his confused looking friend “I have an idea.” He is gone before Cas has time to utter a word in question but before he knows it, Cas can hear the familiar thundering of Deans boots on the stairs again.

Dean barrels into the room waving a pair of walkie talkies in his friends face. Cas frowns and tilts his head slightly “I don’t understand Dean.” The green eyed boy sighs and rolls his eyes affectionately at the blue eyed boy in front of him. “Look buddy, you can’t sleep without someone nearby and I thought I could keep you company until you feel better.” He wriggles one of the radios in his hand and throws the other one to Cas grinning, Castiel’s eyes light up in understanding and he whispers “Thank you Dean.” The blonde haired boy just shrugs as if any 8 year old would be this thoughtful, and throws Cas a shy smile. 

That night Dean is tucked up in bed and his mum lays a small kiss on his head, he brushes it off in a huff, but Mary can see that is completely good natured, she leaves the room and stands by the crack of the door looking at her sweet little boy, who is growing up too fast. There is a faint crackling noise coming from Deans room, and Mary can hear Castiel’s small voice “Dean! Dean! Are you still there?” Dean speaks back into the radio “Yeah Cas, I’m here buddy.” She hears her son talk to his best friend for a while and smiles when she hears him trying to stifle a giggle, before she walks away she hears Dean whisper “Goodnight Cas, I’m here, I’m not gonna leave you.” 

Later that night, as Deanna is going to bed, she hears the soft sound of snoring coming from Castiel’s room, she was so worried about his reaction when he found out about Hael, but as usual his best friend has come to the rescue, and it just makes her even more grateful that her son has someone in his life like Dean. 

 

Three

“I can’t believe it man, senior year’s nearly done and then college.” Dean smiled over at his best friend and his little brother Sam. “Of course, Sammy here has a few more years of torture to endure.” Dean smirked at his brother. Sam gave him a good natured shove and Dean pretended to be offended as Cas chuckled at his friends. “Can you two ever go for five minutes without arguing?” He rolled his eyes at the brothers. 

Cas was going to really miss this when they went their separate ways, for college, and Sammy staying at home, it made his heart ache a little to think that after all these years of being so close that they might drift apart. Cas glanced over at Dean and sighed, the blonde boy must have realised what his friend was feeling because he chose that moment to grab his friend around the shoulder and give him a quick squeeze. Sam just looked over at them with a lopsided smile on his face. The younger Winchester knew there was something special between his brother and Cas, they definitely didn’t treat each other like the other boys at school, Dean had come out as Bi last year, much to their fathers dismay, although he was getting over it now, so maybe he just felt comfortable being more affectionate with his friend. Whatever it meant, Sam didn’t get involved, he knew that neither of the boys needed the heartache, plus Cas had made it clear so many times that he wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship with anyone, despite all the times Dean had tried to set him up on a date.

The boys soon arrived at the burger place that they stopped at every Friday after school, and Cas stood in line while the brothers grabbed a table. Cas didn’t even notice the grin that was creeping up on his face as he stared fondly at the brothers, who were obviously still bickering as they tried to find a place to sit. The dark haired boy was so zoned out they he hadn’t noticed who was sat at the table just at the side of him.

“Cassieeeeeeeee.”

Cas cringed as he heard the familiar tone of his oldest brother Lucifer’s voice, and shrunk into himself waiting for the inevitable. Castiel turned towards the counter, pretending to be engrossed in a menu that he knew by heart, and hoped Lucifer would just leave him alone, but this only served to annoy the eldest Godson child. Lucifer pushed himself out of his seat and came to stand right next to Castiel, the boy could smell the pungent rot of alcoholism behind him as his brother snarled into his ear. “We not fucking good enough for you now, Cassie boy” 

Cas could feel the bile rising up in his throat from the smell of his brother, and his mere presence set every nerve in his body on edge. Cas hadn’t seen Lucifer since he was eight years old and he was allowed a visit “to maintain family relations” but Cas had been so distraught through the whole visit, that Deanna had insisted that they didn’t have contact again. Cas was only 4 when Deanna saved him, but he could still remember how Lucifer had tortured him when he still lived at home, so he was relieved when she told him he would never have to see him again, and then even more so when she later told him Lucifer had left town. 

Cas couldn’t speak, and even when Lucifer grabbed his shoulder and roughly turned him around he couldn’t get his voice to raise even a whisper. “You better look at me boy.” Lucifer sneered and then huffed a bitter laugh “You know, daddy was right about you! You’re an aberration, a goddam mutant. We obviously didn’t beat enough of that out of you!” the older man spat out the words.

Castiel flinched, it had taken him years to get over the nightmares of what had happened before he had been adopted, but when Lucifer spoke all the painful memories came flooding back. 

Cas, tried to push past Lucifer, as he cast a glance at the other patrons around him. The other customers were only staring, and the restaurant had gone deadly silent, nobody looked like they were going to step up to help him. Blue eyes searched desperately around for an escape but then, felt himself being swung back around, so he braced himself for the inescapable fist that would be soon making contact with his face, but it never came.

Cas peeked open one eye, and that’s when he realised what had happened. Lucifer was stood in front of him, with a look of pure contempt on his face, but for once it wasn’t pointed at him, it was aimed at the one person Cas knew he could always rely on. Cas didn’t know at what point Dean had walked over, but he was currently gripping on to Lucifer’s fist, which would surely have floored Castiel, if Dean hadn’t been there to stop it. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing boy.” Lucifer snarled at Dean, then suddenly threw a right hook at the blonde haired boy, Dean swiftly blocked it and then socked the much older man straight in the nose. Lucifer slumped straight to the floor holding his rapidly purpling and bloody nose and screaming muffled expletives into his hands. Dean disn’t waste any time, he grabbed Cas’s hand and practically had to drag him out of the restaurant, as the dark haired boy was stood with eyes wide and mouth open, Dean yelled out for Sammy to follow them. 

“What the hell man.” Sam yelled at Dean as he caught up with the other two boys. 

“Cool it Sammy.” Dean snapped, still dragging Castiel along the pavement, the dark haired boy was gripping on to his friends hand like a vice. 

They walked for a little while longer, before coming to a bench, which Dean unceremoniously pushed Cas down on to. The older Winchester crouched down in front of his friend, and tried to get Cas to look at him, he could see that his friends eyes were clouded with tears. “Cas, you ok?” the blonde haired boys voice was starting to crack “I’m sorry man, I just couldn’t let him treat you like that.” Cas looked into Deans emerald eyes then, with a confused look on his face. “You think I’m mad with you Dean?” as a small smile came to his face “You saved me again Dean, you are always there to look after me.” He placed his hand on Deans which was now gripping onto Cas’s knee as if Dean thought that Castiel would bolt if he didn’t hold him in place. “I was shocked when it happened. Yes. Upset that my so called brother, still felt he could treat me in such a way, after all this time, but you, you are always there for me, and you’re more like family to me than anyone in my biological family ever could be.”  
Cas’s cheeks turned a little pink, he wasn’t really one to go in for long emotional speeches, and the way that Dean was staring at him really wasn’t helping, but then Dean smiled at him, relieved, and pulled him into a hug. “C’mere man”. 

The two stayed in their embrace until they heard Sam clearing their throat behind them, Sam gave them both a smirk and looked at Dean as if to say “What the hell was all that about.” Dean just shrugged and turned back to his best friend “Say Cas do you think you can give that speech to my mum when she sees that state of my knuckles.” Dean laughed, waving his fingers in front of the other boys face. Cas grabbed his friends hand and winced when he saw the bruising that was already forming over the top of his hand, he traced his fingers gently over the sore knuckles, and the sensation made Dean’s stomach do a little flip. Dean pulled his hand away from Castiel, probably a little too abruptly and bumped shoulders with his friend to make up for it. They walked back to the house together to face the music.

That night, Dean couldn’t stop thinking about the way Cas had looked at him, the words he’d said, how it felt when he touched him. The worst thing was that Cas didn’t even seem to know what he was doing to him, but Dean couldn’t even judge the guy for it, he knew what Cas had been through, knew how hard it was for him to let anyone in, for God’s sake Dean, Sam and Charlie were his only friends, and Charlie was only his friend because she had made it her mission that they were going to be BFF’s as she called it. No! Dean was happy to take whatever Cas could give him, and if best friends, who maybe hugged a little too long, was all he could offer, then Dean would take it.

 

Four

 

The dark haired girl slinked over to Dean and lowered herself down on his lap, claiming his mouth with a kiss. The end of year party was in full swing, and Dean couldn’t believe that college had flown by so quickly. The blonde man looked up at Lisa affording her a small smile, she was a nice enough girl, a little stuck up sure, but the relationship was going ok for now, and Dean could see himself settling for her. 

The oldest Winchester leaned over to look around his girlfriend at the door, Cas was meant to be here an hour ago and Dean was getting worried, he scowled at the door when the blue eyed man didn’t materialise. Lisa looked at him pouting, she clicked her fingers in front of his face which made Dean begrudgingly give her his attention “What’s up with you.” She snapped “You’ve been miles away all night.” Dean just huffed at her “Just wondering where Cas has got to, he hates driving long distance, I shoulda picked him up.” He sighed. Lisa rolled her eyes “This again, for Christ’s sake, can’t the guy look after himself.” Dean baulked at the tone in the woman’s voice “I mean honestly, the guys obsessed with you, whenever he comes down here, he never leaves you alone, it’s creepy.” Lisa fakes a shudder, which just makes Dean glare at her “Look, you know the guy had a hard start in life, and he struggles around other people, just cut him some slack will ya” The tone of Dean’s voice tells Lisa this is not up for discussion, like the time she tried to insist that Dean come to her house for thanksgiving, instead of going home to the Winchesters, so she just lets out a little huff. 

Dean looks around again, and sees a dark haired man in a tan trench coat framed by the door. Lisa looks in the direction that her boyfriend is staring and spits out “Great. The freak’s here” she lets out a shriek then as Dean nearly throws her off his lap, she only just gets her balance and turns to Dean screaming “What the fuck.” Dean glowers at her and walks towards the dark haired woman, which makes her take a step back “Don’t. Ever. Let me hear you say that about my friend again.” Dean growls.  
Lisa knows Dean is annoyed, so she tries to laugh it off and throws her arms around his neck, trying to kiss him “You’re right baby, I’m so sorry, I’m just really drunk….” Dean doesn’t let her continue, he just grabs her arms from around his neck and gently places them in front of her, moving her away from him in the process “It’s over Lisa.” He says in barely a whisper, before turning and walking towards the door, but Cas has already disappeared.  
Dean can hear Lisa shouting behind him “That’s it run off to your boyfriend. You won’t get me back Dean, this is it for us.” She screams. Dean doesn’t care though, he just wants to find Cas.

It doesn’t take long for Dean to spot his friend, he is sat on a bench outside of the dorms, staring up at the stars. Dean stops for a minute just to look at the perfection of the man he has been in love with since he was 14, he looks even more beautiful in the moonlight, the sharp angle of his jaw and his messy hair, meshed together into something that is so distinctively Cas. Dean doesn’t know how long he has been staring before Cas glances over at him “Hello Dean.” He says in a voice that has increasingly caused a hot feeling in the pit of Deans stomach, as it has gotten deeper over the years. Dean strolls over and sits down a little too close to the other man, Cas doesn’t notice because this is how him and Dean have been with each other since the day they met, always close, as if the they would float off without being anchored by the other. “Hey Cas.” 

“I’m sorry Dean” Cas murmurs. “I couldn’t come into the party, it was just too much. The noise, the smells, the people.” Dean threw his arm around Cas, leaning in close, he was still a little drunk “S’not a problem man, the party blew anyway.” He grinned at his friend. Cas frowned at Dean, and blinked his eyes a few times as the alcohol fumes from his friends breath were blown into his face, then he looked down at the ground. “I’m sure Lisa is missing you anyway.” Cas muttered, Dean detected a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He recoiled slightly at the words, wondering if Cas had overheard anything that he and Lisa had said. The blonde man moved further towards his friend and shrugged “Nah man, that’s over. Too much drama, y’know.” Dean looked at Cas now, searching in the deep blue of his eyes for any hint that his friend is affected by the revelation. Castiel just smiles at his friend however, staring into Deans eyes, like he always does, like he’s searching his best friend’s soul. For a second there, Dean thinks Cas is finally going to lean in and kiss him and he swallows audibly. Deans heart starts pounding, thinking about the dark haired mans chapped lips meeting his, but then his friend just stares straight ahead again seemingly unflustered. “I can’t say I’m not pleased Dean, I don’t think she liked me very much.” Cas says tentatively. Dean gave his friend a thin lipped smile, and turned to look at the stars in the same way he had found Castiel. The blue eyed man sighs then and leans his head on Deans shoulder, and all Dean can do is close his eyes and wonder how long he can keep torturing himself like this. 

 

Five

“The girl is exasperating Dean.” Cas practically growled at his best friend. “I am a 25 year old man. I am a doctor for God’s sake. But still after all this time she feels she must force a partner on me.” Dean smiled at the dark haired man. “It’s all good natured man, maybe she just thinks you need to find the right person, get yourself out there?” He grinned at his friend “I aint happy about it either. Charlie knows I have just come out of a shitty break up, so where she thinks my “compulsory” plus one is coming from, I don’t know.” 

Charlie and Jo were getting married in 6 weeks’ time, and when Castiel had received the invitation he thought it was a joke at first, but the wedding was drawing closer and neither woman was budging on the issue. “Just bring somebody with you Cas” the redhead had said on the phone earlier that day “as long as it resembles a date then I’ll be happy.”  
Castiel had been on a few dates since leaving college but nothing had stuck. This was mainly due to the fact that he was in love with his best friend, of course he knew Dean would never return his affections, so he had resigned himself to being just that, a friend.

Dean clicked his fingers and grinned at his best friend “Hey man, I’ve got an idea” Cas looked worried, he really hoped this wasn’t going to be one of Deans double date things, the two that he had been convinced to go on were awful, and Cas couldn’t put himself through that hell again, nevertheless he decided to hear his friend out, he inclined his head indicating that Dean should continue. 

“We should go together.” Dean grinned. Although his smile slowly faded as he saw the tell-tale pink of embarrassment creep up his friends face “I mean like just as friends, I mean I..uhm, I know you don’t swing that way man.” He croaked out with a stilted laugh hoping his friend didn’t notice the look of pain in his eyes. Cas gave him a tight-lipped smile then, but Dean couldn’t read his friend at all in that moment, so he was glad when Cas finally said “I don’t think Charlie will be pleased” Dean grinned “Leave that to me man.” He laughed slapping his friend gently on the back.

That evening Dean sat on his sofa watching re-runs of doctor sexy, his obsession with the show, was, of course, nothing to do with a dark haired doctor that he knew, even if he did have to go take a cold shower the first time Cas had shown up in his scrubs, from his medical placement. Dean mentally berated himself for the events that had unfolded with Cas earlier that day, he wasn’t even sure what he was thinking, but the look on Cas’s face made it abundantly clear that he could never give Dean what he wanted. Now the eldest Winchester would have to sit through a wedding, as the “date” of this amazing man, and watch women throw themselves at him. Cas was mostly oblivious to the pull that his brooding face, dark “sex hair” and stunning blue eyes had on women and men alike, but this didn’t mean that Dean didn’t notice, and he had just signed himself up for a whole day of it with a front row seat. 

Dean resigned himself to his fate, and prepared himself to argue with Charlie, he got out his phone to send her a text, at least he could save Cas from another painful date, he thought.

*Hey Charlie, just letting you know that Cas and I are gonna be each other’s plus one’s, neither of us want to get a date so you’re gonna have to deal with that.* 

He pressed send. The message was a little abrupt but Dean was still annoyed at himself for his behaviour earlier, so he couldn’t bring himself to care, he threw his phone back on the coffee table and braced himself for the tantrum that Charlie was going to throw, when she realised that neither of her friends were bringing a date.  
Dean stayed slumped on his sofa watching Dr. Sexy for the rest of the night and it wasn’t until around midnight that he decided to head upstairs and call it a night. He absentmindedly checked his phone as he walked up the stairs and pouted a little when he saw that he had a reply from Charlie, he flicked up the screen to read the message.

*Cool beans, looking forward to seeing you bitches soon. C xx*

Dean was surprised to say the least, he had thought Charlie would have put up a bit of a fight, but he was glad she hadn’t, he really wasn’t in the mood to fight with anyone with the way he felt tonight. Dean went to bed that night wondering why he was once again sacrificing his own feelings, for the sake of someone who was only ever going to see him as a friend.

On the other side of town, Charlie turned to Jo, who was reading in the bed beside her “Come on Jo, please just help me finally get those two together, everyone can see they have been in love with each other forever.” Jo looked affectionately at her soon to be wife and shrugged “I really don’t think we should get involved, they’ll get there eventually.” Charlie groaned “Have you actually met those two!” she laughed. “Charlie, for once, how about you concentrate on your own love life.” Jo rolled her eyes good naturedly before pulling Charlie in for a kiss, and before long they had forgotten all about Charlie’s matchmaking plans. 

 

+1 Wedding day

The wedding had gone off without a hitch, both the girls looked beautiful, and Dean would be lying if he said there weren’t a few tears creeping into his eyes when the two women had said their vows, the blonde man was currently at the bar taking advantage of the free beer that Jo’s mum was providing. He had already turned down three women, who were trying to come on to him just whilst he had been stood there, and the bar was heaving so he knew he would be there for a while. He glanced over at Cas and chuckled when he saw that Charlie had caught him in an awkward hug, the dark haired man stood stiffly and grimaced at Dean gesturing that he should come and save him, but Dean just chuckled, so Castiel fixed him with a piercing stare, although that didn’t last long, before Cas started laughing too, and Dean thought it might have been one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, the thought made his chest ache. Charlie pulled away from Cas when she heard him laughing, and looked around to see what had made her friend so cheerful, and when she turned and saw Dean, she gave him a knowing look which made him turn a little pink and face back towards the bar. 

Dean cleared his throat, and leaned a little further over the bar in the hope that Ellen would take pity on him, and serve him next, although he quickly shot around when he felt somebody grab his ass. In front of him was a blonde woman, her black dress left very little to the imagination, and she was clearly absolutely sloshed. Deans eyes watered when she sidled up to him, and he could smell the booze on her breath “Hey sailor” She slurred “This is all yours” gesturing wildly to her body. Dean guessed it was supposed to be seductive, but it just came across as a little crazy. He wrinkled his nose, and one side of his mouth quirked up “Thanks, but I’m good.” He said kindly. The blonde woman obviously didn’t take the hint though, as she seemed to be trying to gyrate madly against Dean’s leg “I know you’re good” she said raising her eyebrow suggestively. Dean took a step back and said a little louder this time “Look lady, I told you I’m not interested.” The sound of Dean raising his voice made Castiel look over at him, he frowned when he saw that Dean had yet another woman draped all over him. Cas noticed however, that his friend looked uncomfortable so he decided to go over and save him, the woman did seem to be very persistent. 

Dean didn’t notice Cas walking towards the bar, as he was too busy trying to restrain himself from bodily pushing the blonde away from him, then Dean felt a warm hand in his. “Where have you been Dean, I thought you were only going to the bar baby?” Cas smiled sweetly at him, and Dean bristled at the unfamiliar endearment coming from his friends mouth, but then he noticed the woman looking confused and moving away from him. The green eyed man turned to Cas “Sorry sweetheart, the bars rammed” he said gesturing behind him with his thumb, a mirthful look in his eye. The woman looked at them both, with an irritated expression on her face and then gestured at them both with her finger “You two are together?” Cas smiled over at Dean, and then replied to the woman “That’s right. So maybe you should find someone else to grind up against, and leave my boyfriend alone.” Hearing Cas call Dean his boyfriend felt like a stab to the heart for Dean, but he still managed to plaster a pained grin on his face at the blonde as Cas wrapped his arm around Deans waist. “Oh well, it’s always the cute ones huh.” She laughed as she walked off to find another unsuspecting victim.  
The two men stood, almost giggling with each other as the woman walked away. Cas’s arm was still around Deans waist, and the feeling sent a pool of heat into the dark haired man’s stomach, he quickly pulled away trying to hide the pink that was slowly creeping its way up his neck. Dean chuckled looking down at the slightly shorter man and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly “Thanks man, I thought she was never going to leave me alone.” He lets out a little huff. Cas glanced behind Dean and leaned in to whisper “Don’t look now, but she’s coming back.” Deans eyes widened and Cas quickly grabbed his hand, to save him from the woman, of course, and not because when he did the same thing five minutes ago, he felt a jolt of electricity fly through him, that he never wanted to stop feeling. 

Before Dean knew it Cas had dragged him to the dance floor. “She’s not going to approach us if we are dancing together.” Cas smiled shyly as he moved the blonde man into his arms, he hoped Dean believed his reasons and didn’t see the fact that Cas obviously just wanted to be close to him for a bit longer. Dean stared at Cas for a while and wasn’t moving, but then his mind finally pushed past his bodies reaction to being so damn close to Cas, and he laughed “Yeah! Of course, good idea.” He beamed, as their bodies started to move in sync. Before they knew it, they were dancing like they had been meant to do this together all their lives, and Dean almost forgot that this whole thing wasn’t real, and it was just his friend trying to help him out.  
Cas was enjoying every second of being able to hold his friend, like he had wanted to for such a long time, he threw his head back with laughter as Dean shook his ass at him when Taylor Swifts ‘Shake it off’ came through the speaker, and he was nearly in hysterics by the time the song was done. As the music from the song died down and Castiel regained his composure, he moved over to his friend and clapped a hand on his back “Dean you are so funny.” He looked fondly at his friend “God, I love you.” A smile cracked his face wide open, but then it dropped, as he realised what he had just said. 

Dean stared at his friend with a blank expression, he couldn’t believe Castiel had just said that to him, the words he had wanted to hear from the blue eyed man’s mouth for such a long time, but he knew that Cas only thought of him as family. Dean had been having such a good time with Cas, just enjoying being close to him, that he had forgotten to brace himself against these feelings, he had become an expert, over the years, of locking his heart up, when it came to Castiel. “Don’t. Just don’t say that to me man.” He spit out bitterly, unable to look Cas in the eye and see the hurt he was causing him. Dean stormed out of the Roadhouse, slamming the door behind him. 

Cas stood on the dance floor stunned for a second before finally gathering himself and pushing past the throng of people on the dance floor to follow his best friend out of the door, he found Dean leaning against the side of the impala with his head in his hands. Castiel walked over to the blonde man tentatively and croaked out a barely audible “Dean.” Castiel’s voice was already thick with emotion and he had to swallow down the painful lump in his throat before he could continue. “I’m so sorry Dean. I….I shouldn’t have said that, what I said, I know you don’t feel the same, and I promise I’ll never mention it again.” The green eyed man looked up then and he looked so striking in the moonlight that it took Castiel’s breath away, Dean narrowed his eyes at Castiel and looked like he was fighting some inner turmoil, the blonde man started to speak, but Castiel didn’t want him to dismiss him forever before he had chance to tell dean how he really felt, before he had a chance to fight for their friendship. “Please Dean, just let me finish.” He looked at the oldest Winchester for confirmation, but Dean said nothing “I know I have hurt you, and made you question our friendship with what I have told you tonight, but Dean it was a mistake, it just slipped out, and I want you to know, I would never expect anything but friendship from you.” Castiel exhaled shakily “Just please. Please don’t stop being my friend. You’re the only one who understands me, and I know you have had to put up with so much being my friend, and you have had to come to my rescue time after time, but I can’t lose you Dean.” 

Dean gazed at Cas, his hand over his mouth, trying to hide the smile that was slowly creeping up on his face. Cas loves him, he couldn’t believe it, his friend looked at him with pain in his eyes though, and Dean wanted nothing more than to never see that look in his friends eyes again. “You’re not gonna lose me Cas” he cleared his throat, he felt like pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Cas looked relieved already and managed a tight lipped smile at his friend, Dean went on “But I don’t think us being friends is a good idea.” Cas looked worried and Dean moved towards him deciding that he really couldn’t draw this out any longer. He was right in front of Cas now, and they were almost touching, Cas looked confused when Dean lifted a hand up to stroke the face of the man who’s eyes he could happily drown in “So what d’ya say, you wanna be my boyfriend.” Dean breathed as he inched his way closer to Cas’s lips. 

A spark of understanding lit up in the blue eyes of the man in front of him, and it was Castiel that pushed forward to close the gap between his lips and Deans, kissing each other passionately as they poured out all the emotions they had been holding back for years. When they eventually came up for air, Dean chuckled “Wow Cas, I feel like an idiot for waiting this long. But I’m definitely going to make up for it now, starting with telling you, I love you too, so much.” Dean had tears in his eyes, as he admitted his love for the beautiful man standing in front of him “I’m just annoyed you got in their first” he smirked. “I thought I was the one who was prone to emotional outbursts!” Cas smiled up at the most important person in his life and whispered “Ah, that’s where you’re wrong Dean Winchester. My mother told me you said you loved me on the first day we met.” Dean grinned, remembering his own mom telling him the story of the day that he had first seen Castiel. “Huh, guess I must have known all along.” He whispered as he pulled his boyfriend in for another kiss.

And there’s more ….

The two women cooed over the little blonde baby in Deans arms. “Give her here Dean, she needs Grandma cuddles” Mary said whilst fussing over her new granddaughter. “She’s sleeping Ma, when she wakes up you can cuddle her all you want.” Dean threw a “help me” look at his dad but the man just shrugged as if he had any chance of controlling his wife. 

Cas walked in then with Gabriel, Cas’s brother had got in touch with him two years ago and the two had begun a tentative relationship again, they were both victims of their family, and they ended up being able to take comfort in the small family ties they had with each other. Cas looked over at Dean and rolled his eyes at the two women hovering around his husband and their new baby. “Mom can you give them some space, she’s not going anywhere.” He smiled wistfully. Deanna looked over at her son, her eyes already wet with tears of joy, so Cas pulled her into a hug. “I’m just so happy for you.” She whispered in his ear, which just made him grip her even tighter. 

Castiel mock sighed “Ok Dean, hand her over before these two try and wrestle her off of you.” He winked at his husband. Dean looked hurt but Cas knew that he was just playing on it, although he had been hard pushed to get Dean to let go of Claire, since they had finally brought her home from the foster parents three days ago, Dean was certainly taking his papa bear responsibilities very seriously. Dean handed the baby to Deanna begrudgingly, and replaced the baby with his husband, pulling him over to the side of him by his waist. Cas grinned at the green eyed man, although the stupid smile never seemed to be far from his face around Dean these days. Dean winked at him, and he felt a little silly that it still made his legs go weak after three years of marriage. “I love you Cas.” Cas pulled Dean in closer “I love you too, Dean.”


End file.
